little of this and a little of that

Longggg time no talkkk! Sorry about that but to say things have been crazy would be a complete understatement. But lets start off with I have officially moved to Cleveland…

Basically what made the Drs. both in Boston and here in Cleveland decide that being in Cleveland was the best thing for me was because of how sick I got.  The Friday before we moved here I woke up not feeling great, not feeling sick, but just not great. I laid low all weekend and relaxed. I had a Drs. apt that Monday so I figured I would wait and tell them at my apt how I was feeling. Well Sunday night, let’s just say, was possibly one of the scariest nights of my life. No matter what I did I could not breathe. I was sitting on my bed with my oxygen up to the highest it could go which with this particular tank was 4 liters per minute and my o2 was at 60%. My mom came into my room, looked at me and knew right away something was wrong. We then went downstairs where we had a 24 hour portable tank which could go up to 8 liters a minute and connected to that tank. If my o2 did not rise above 90% within a few minutes my mom was going to call 911 but, luckily it did. The following morning my Aunty Gail accompanied my mom and I to my Drs. apt. because my mom and I were still very shaken up from that night. Well, my Drs. apt. went horrible, everything was down and my x-ray did not look any better if not worse.  So my Drs. decided to extend my IV antibiotics an extra week increased my o2 requirement to 3 liters at rest and 5-6 liters with exertion. But that the only thing really left to help me is the transplant. OH…did I fail to mention that at this point I was not even officially listed on the transplant list… I had been accepted to the Cleveland Clinic as a patient but had not yet been accepted to the transplant list.  None of us are really sure what the hold up was all we knew is that I was not on the list, yet. So, we all were just a huge bundle of stress, nerves and uncertainty. But that Thursday was when my mom got the call from the Dr. at the Cleveland Clinic (they never call me, something to do with not wanting to stress me out when I am already sick) saying how I have officially been put on the list but that because my health has declined so quickly everyone feels that it would be best if I moved out to Cleveland so that they could take over my care and so it was decided that is what we would do.  I was actually not home when my mom got the call about me being officially listed. I had a Drs. apt that my Aunty Gail took me to.  My aunt went to get the car from the garage and when I sat down she told me I was officially listed. I broke down, I cried tears of joy, tears of fear and tears of relief.

The week before leaving for Cleveland was a very difficult week for me, emotionally. I think it was just a lot of different things. It was the fact that this just became “real” to me. Leaving what I knew and going to a place I knew nothing about, and that I was leaving my family and friends and my babies (dogs). My friends all made sure to see me before going and my family threw me a little going away party. Saturday morning my mom and I boarded the plane and left for Cleveland. Although, I had just cried a river I noticed a small smile on my face break through. The next time I touch down on MA soil I will be breathing on my own and back to living life ~ and that…well, when I think of that I can’t help but smile!

So my mom and I have been living in Cleveland for about three weeks now. I unfortunately, was hospitalized for the past week. I was having some major digestive problems ~ ugh, not fun. However, living out here for only three weeks so far has showed me how important it is to continue to fundraise. So please, please continue to spread the word about me and my situation and get anyone and everyone to donate whatever they can.  No amount is to small and every dime helps more than you will ever know.  

Here are the links to both my webpage as well as my donation page. Please just let anyone who donates to make sure it is “in the honor of Ashley Dias”
http://www.breatheeasyforashley.org/

http://patients.transplants.org/Ashleydias

Another thing I wanted to mention is I often get asked how I am always smiling? How am I so positive? But it is because of how lucky I am. Seriously. I mean, yea I have some crappy stuff going on right now but I have the most amazing family and friends a girl could ask for and I am so beyond lucky for that! I have two sisters that I know I can talk to and tell anything to and just vent to. I can call up and simply cry and they will cry with me. Lindsey and MacKenzie I love you to the moon and beyond. I have Aunts, Uncles and cousins that are the same way. Any one of them would stop what they were doing if I needed them. They all have lives but put their lives on hold to help save my life. I love you all so much! Then there are my amazing friends. I don’t think you guys will ever understand how much you have done for me to keep my going and continue to fight until I win.  Everyone else, friends of friends, acquaintances and complete strangers you have helped with the smile I am constantly wearing, helped with the strength I have to continue to fight and have helped with the determination I have to win. Then there is my mom. Everyone tells me I am a clone of my mom and, that is the highest compliment I could receive. My mom is the strongest, caring, loving woman and I am so glad I get to call her mine.  Mom, thank you for everything. For the strength you give me, the will power to never give up, to never accept anything but the best, for pushing me to continue when you know there is more in me to give but carrying me when I just simply need to rest. I love you beyond words.
So does my situation suck right now ~ absolutely but, I am still completely lucky! 

In the words of Kelly Clarkson ~ whatever doesn’t kill can only make you stronger.

Talk to you all later ~ Breathe Easy,
Ashley